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"I can't stop thinking about you"

It is coming up to a decade since I heard you telling me this for the first time.

I miss our memories,
I miss US.
What we once were,
What we had.

Do you remember your kiss on my forehead?
Do you remember our adventures?
I remember getting lost in your eyes
Feeling like you could see through my soul
Feeling butterflies in my stomach
Smiling just because
Thinking of you
While
My
Heart
Beats a thousand beats
Per
Minute.

I loved you.
With my soul
With my life
With everything I had
With every breath
With every heartbeat
With every blink
Infinitely.
It was REAL.

And somehow I think
I still do.

At least,
That's what I would like
To believe.

I'd like to believe in you and me
In our future.
In the future we always dreamt of
And we both truncated.

See, I know we were real
Although our ego tries to persuade us
And betrays our emotions
I know we were real.
I know...
I know we loved each other with everything we had.

Beyond the physical chemistry
Beyond the adventures
Beyond anything mundane in the world
We were far beyond everything
What we had was real.
You and I.

I wish we could change things
I wish I could wake up with you by my side
Wake you up with kisses all over the face
Fill your heart with tenderness
Getting lost between the blankets
Laugh and love like never before
Like only you and I did.
Remember?

Remember the monsters in the ceiling?
Our magical kisses?
The kiss on a hot beach at night that meant the absolute world
No words were needed
We were magical
The sunsets
Our endless conversations
Soul to soul

You meant the world to me
I meant the world to you

I loved you SO much.
So much.

I wish we would give each other a chance.
The chance we missed
The chance we let slip through
The chance we deserve.

Because after all this years
Even though...
I have learnt to live without you
I have built a life without you
I am stronger than ever
and I am totally okay without you

Somehow
A part of me
Still misses you

and

Sometimes I wonder
WHAT IF
We got over our own shit
Learnt  from our mistakes
And solved the issues that broke us apart.

WHAT IF
We made it through
Together, stronger, more in love than ever

Sometimes
And just sometimes
I wish
You were here with me and
I was there with you.

However, I am okay,
I have rebuilt my life
Things are great,
my dreams are being achieved,
I can easily build other relationships
And I don't need you.

I still believe
In
US.

Call me crazy
Or naive.

It is just my heart and soul being bloody genuine and dumb.
Stupid.
Very stupid - perhaps.

Because after all.
It has been almost 10 years
Since the first time we met
And now it's my turn to say
'I can't stop thinking about you'

Or maybe
I should just forget about it all
And make space for someone else.

So close and so far
Here and there
You and I
ONE

Chico & Chica
So then...
If you -somehow- feel like I do
If you -sometimes- wonder WHAT IF
Call me, maybe?
And let's talk

Or even better
Let's start
By being friends again
And go from there.

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